Noah's Big Day

Jen- Today was Noah's first day in day care. Curtis and I are still trying to find a routine for us in the morning, but we will figure it out soon enough with more practice. I have to admit that it was very hard on me this morning. I was able to hold it together until I saw Curtis pulling out of the driveway with Noah asleep in the back, and then I lost it. I had to get a good cry out for about 10 minutes and then I dried my eyes and started getting ready for work. It felt good to start back to work today, but all I did was think about Noah all day! Of course I had to call around 10:00 a.m. to check on my baby to see how he was doing, and when Lori (the woman who runs the day care) answered the phone I could hear Noah crying in the background. My heart sank when I heard him crying and I couldn't be there to hold him and console him. She told me he was doing good and he had just started to cry when I called, so I let her go so she could get back to work. I did good and I didn't call back, but I have to admit that I was worried about him all day. When I got home from work he was asleep in his daddy's arms and it warmed my heart and made me feel so much better seeing he was OK. I don't know how to describe the feeling I had this morning having to give our baby over to someone that isn't family besides that it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I trust Lori or of course or we wouldn't have chosen her to watch Noah, but it is still very very hard. I'm a mommy what can I say?! I have spent as much time as I can with Noah tonight, but it still isn't that time that we are used to having so it is going to take some getting used to. I only hope that one day Noah will understand that if I could stay home with him I would, but mommy and daddy are trying to give him the best life possible.

I survived today and hopefully it will get a little easier everyday even though it will never be ok with me to have to leave him. I would like to say thank you to Curtis for trying to make my first day back to work a little better today, because he sent me some beautiful flowers for my office with a very sweet card. I am a very lucky girl and he makes me realize that (along with Noah) everyday when I wake up. I will go to sleep tonight praying that Noah has a good day again tomorrow!